Told You Once.

I told you I wouldn't be taking any photos.  Here are some more from the pelagic of doom.

I sure do miss these guys on Midway.  It's fun to imagine that I was just hanging out with this bird a few months ago and then we were reunited off Santa Barbara.

Pomarine Jaeger, one of yesterday's better birds. Wes Fritz sure knows how to chum these in.

Babies

Babies.  I know they're super gross.  But it's important to remember that babies can be cool.  As long as they don't belong to you. Or any of your friends.  And as long as they don't puke or shit all over you.  I've met a lot of babies in the last week.  They are spewing out of their eggs faster than I can keep track.  Some are cute.  Some are weaklings.  Some are tiny little blobs of slimy feathers.  Let me introduce you to two of them.

This baby just rolls with whatever.  One million mile an hour winds?  Sand pelting your face and sticking to your eyeball?  Who gives a shit?  Not this baby.  He actually looks like he's having fun.

Then there are the frightened, deer in the headlights babies.  These poor creatures probably had something horrible happen to them very early on.  Like when they were still inside their eggs.  The baby in this picture was abandoned by his parents and left to die on the cold sand.  Luckily, someone happened to notice this tragedy and told me about it.  I placed him in the care of some foster parents, and named him Foster Bird.  The new parents seem to be dutifully loving and caring for FB, and I wish them all well, despite FB's cowardly demeanor.  

Do You Even Know Who You Are Anymore?

Do you see yourself how other people see you?  Hella doubtful.  Most likely your self perception is drastically skewed.  You think you're super dumb and ugly, but it turns out some people think you've got a hot ass and you think about interesting and complex shit.  Or maybe you fancy yourself quite the socialite.  Everybody's best friend.  But actually, everyone hates your guts and thinks you're an asshole.  I've just been told by a reliable British source that it's likely a combination of the two.  Somewhere in the middle of what you see and what they see.  In any case, it turns out that there's much confusion on this subject in the bird world too.  Out here, I see birds every day that have absolutely no clue who the fuck they are.  Here are a few of my faves:

This Short-tailed Albatross thinks it's a Black-footed Albatross.  It spends most of its time trying to mate with that Black-footed Albatross right there, which is of course looking away in disgust.  It even bullies the BFAL off of her nest and sits on the egg whenever it gets the chance.  So confused.

This Booby thinks it's a Goony.  This bird has been incubating an albatross egg for several weeks now.  Identity crisis?

Boo Koo

I spent most of today trying to make every job take twice as long as necessary.  This is a good strategy when you want life to be Totally Chill.  We are still in the post-albatross sweep lull, and things are still super slow.  I took hecka photos today, but they're mostly the same old boring crap.  Sorry.  Eggs are hatching at an incredible rate on the island, and we are starting to be surrounded by sickening cuteness everywhere we look.  It's gross.

Red-tailed Tropicbird getting nasty outside the Fish and Wildlife office.  

Another disgusting Black-footed Albatross laying some sugar on her disgusting baby.

I Know What Time It Is

Today was hella slow.  We only had a little bit of albatross work in the morning, and then a bit of native plant work in the afternoon, planting Bunchgrass.  Since our albatross survivorship plots are now done, we don't have much to do.  We are going to be having a lot more plant work in the coming weeks.  Yawn.  


I have some new raging related news for you.  First, I spent last night celebrating Fun Time Midway 2012.  It was awesome.  If you ask me what time it is, all I have to do is glance at my permanent rage clock, which keeps perfect time.  Also, the officials at the Couch Burning have set a date for this year.  It will take place on April 21st, just one day after the international holiday Smoke Hella Weed Day.  Hope to see you all there.

Everyone here knows exactly what time it is.

A BFAL chick hatching during work this morning.

Feet

Feet are important.  Lieutenant Dan always left only two standing orders in his platoon.  One was to not do anything stupid like getting yourself killed, but the other was to take good care of your feet.  Good advice.  Out here, feet are important.  Many birds are named for their feet.  Black-footed Albatross and Red-footed Booby are a few local Midway examples.  I get minor cuts and bruises all the time on my feet as a result of the dry, sharp sticks of the horrid Verbesina plant.  The albatrosses sometimes lose parts of their feet (big holes in the webbing) when they wipe out into these sharp sticks.  In a tribute to feet everywhere, here are two fascinating photos of feet:

One day, I noticed Volunteer Ann doing this.  No explanation, nothing.  I snapped off a quick photo and still have not stopped calling her "Annie One-sock"

BFALs do some fancy footwork as part of their courtship dance.  They get up on their tiptoes, pretty much like ballerinas.

I Love Chicks

It finally happened.  Not the huge TPAD event that I've been hinting at.  Something else.  We found about five chicks today.  For a man who has been marooned on an island for the last two months, chicks were a welcome sight.  Yeah, I stared a lot.  The chicks' parents weren't too thrilled, but I didn't care.  Here's what they looked like:

Mommy BFAL loving her baby BFAL.

While we were looking at the Goony babies, a few Sanderlings flew by.

Whale Sharks And Fairy Terns: Opposites Attract

I just got home from a talk and slide show given by Susan Scott.  She is one of the bird counters and has been all up inside the Sea of Cortez.  She's seen hella.  Her best photos were of Whale Sharks, which are the biggest fish in the world.  Apparently there are a shit ton of them at the northern end of the S.O.C.  You can just go out and swim with them like you're some kind of King of the Sea Nature God.  Anyway, now I hella want to go there and get my Whale Shark on.  

Dan's Photos That Should Be On Hallmark Greeting Cards: Part 2.

This is me nearly losing a finger.

Lazy All Day

I pretty much spent the entire day in bed.  Messing around on the computer.  So fun and fulfilling!  After a while, I got out of bed and went over to Tum, A1, and A2's house.  We drank whiskey, blazed grits, and played guitar until dinner.  It was fun.  Obviously.  Now I'm wondering what to do with the rest of the night.  I tried to get a poker game together but it fell through.  Sometimes people are cowards...

I don't know if y'all can really understand what a million albatross looks/sounds like, but try looking at this and multiplying by one billion jazillion.

Another Bonin Petrel with its soul outside its body.  

Goonies With Hats

I spent most of today helping Scott remove the data logger tags from goonies that have been wearing them for the last year.  Scott has been tracking seabirds for years and is the guy who discovered the Sooty Shearwater migration route.  Super interesting stuff.  The method for getting these tags off is a bit different from our normal routine, so I took some photos while we worked.


In about an hour, the New Year's Eve festivities will begin.  Dinner, Bingo, and the fabulous Chugach Band will be the agenda for tonight.  I plan on raging to the fullest extent of my abilities.  It's still 2011!  Kegstands!

This is the cute, outdoorsy look.  

We keep a few Short-tailed Albatross out in the garage.  One of them is quite the baseball fan.

Hella Talky

Everyone is giving talks all of a sudden.  Tonight will be the third in a row.  John Klavitter (one of the head honcho guys around these parts) is giving a talk on Albatrosses.  I enjoyed a talk by Karen and Crystal last night about climate change and long-line fishing.  Fully legit.  Lots of sick Short-tailed Al photos.  I worked hella Goonies today.  I read millions of bands.  Banded thousands more.  It was a hard day.  And now I give you Albatrosses being ridick cute:

That's right, back to black...and white.  If you are looking at this, you are viewing art.  Officially.

This should be a Hallmark card.

Fishooks, Spiders, Scrotes, Oh My.

Went to Dr. Breck's Intro to Seabirds talk last night.  Thought it was great.  We mostly discussed adaptations for a bird's life at sea.  I think there might be another lecture tonight, we shall see.  Today was fairly chill.  There is a lot to do after our three day Christmas Break.  I capped the day off with removing a fishhook from the neck of a Black-footed Albatross.  It was gross and scary, but I reckon I saved his life.  So, good job to me.  

I found this Deadly venomous Giant Killing-spider (Arachnus murderensis) in my golf cart today.  I barely escaped alive.

The best way to advertise that you're ready to go to bed with someone:  Attach a scrotum to your face.  And make it red.  Bright red.

Vomiting Green Slime

Typical day.  Went to Eastern.  Banded birds.  Came home.  Picked up trash on the beach.  Although, on Eastern we encountered a vicious monster Black-footed Albatross.  It bit the shit out of Karen, barfed green slime, bit the shit out of Pete, then finally got banded.  Probably this was the most interesting thing that happened today.  I will now be heading over to the All Hands Club to drink and decorate for the Christmas party.  Mahalo.

Th crew at dinner: Intense one on the left is Karen.  Goofy in the middle is Ann.  The British on the right is Nik.

Another Gray Goony.  This one is incubating an egg, so apparently it convinced someone to mate.  No small feat for a half-blood.

Long Live The King

Today is the Thai King's birthday.  This means that I was up till the wee hours raging hecka hard with all the Thai rage-aholics.  It was awesome.  I heard stories of shootings, shipwrecks, floods, and women.  These guys have seen it all.  The entire time, Ek (The Most Stylish Of All Thais) was forcing silver bullets and banquet beers down everyone's throats.  Earlier in the day I got photos of some previously unpublished species.

Black-footed Albatross pair.  These birds constantly are cuddling.  They really love each other, just like people.

White-tailed Tropicbird.  One of the most elusive birds on Island.

If Only Albatrosses Could Smoke

We banded a few birds yesterday.  I am beginning to get into the swing of things.  I now seen firsthand the devastation that a fully grown bull Black-footed Albatross can inflict on human skin.  It ain't pretty.  No lifers yesterday, but I currently have my sights set on a few target lifers.  Namely the boobies.  Possibly some Wedge-tailed Shearwaters.  I've been told that this is entirely possible, but I've yet to see the goods.  It's time for work again today, so I've gotta run.

Good old-fashioned Laysan Albatross fight.

A Laysan Duck out on the lawn.  This Life bird is probably the rarest animal that I have ever seen.  I think there are only a few hundred left.